Who have you married? I’m sure figuring that out is a WORK IN PROGRESS! We hope that this blog post will aid you in that process.
“The Meaning of Marriage, A Couple’s Devotional” by Timothy and Kathy Keller has been a book that we have been reading quite regularly this year, and we have learned a lot about marriage and ourselves as a result. It wouldn’t be right on our part if we were to keep this all to ourselves, so we’ve been writing this blog series to share with you all, our friends, what we have learned, to help you build a STRONG and HEALTHY marriage. This is our prayer with this blog post as well.
Why Are There Conflicts?
No matter who you marry, you always marry the wrong person. I know that that doesn’t sound so encouraging but it is the truth. We see this workout in our marriage, we might have a lot of compatibility with our spouse in temperament or culture or age or in some other way but still there are at times sharp conflicts. “If the Bible is right that all human beings are sinners, then no two sinners are ever naturally compatible.” And being sinful we “will always be rubbing each other the wrong way and blaming the other person.” Sin complicates and hurts all relationships. We need God’s wisdom to differentiate between conflicts that arise from genuine differences of temperament with our spouse (which should be accepted) and those that sprout out because of flaws in our character (which should have no place in our marriage.)
Change Is A Sure Thing
The second reason why we never marry the right person is because of the way marriage changes us. We are not the same person that we were when we got married. It is not wise counsel to put marriage off till you figure out who you are because you are constantly changing. “Marriage itself changes us drastically, bringing out the best and worst in us.” Our marriage relationship is in need of constant recalibration because of all the change that life brings—aging bodies, babies and children, work and career. “Wisdom, the ability to repent, and a sustained commitment to our wedding promises” is what is really needed going forward. The pursuit of a perfect mate who never changes will prove fruitless. We need God’s help to “accept the inevitable changes in each other, even as he aids us in remaining unchangeably committed to one another.”
It is our hope that this post will help you better understand your marriage relationship. Stay Blessed.